he told her

i was born to love you he told her
just before he ran his hands down her shoulders
and showed her his love in an embrace
he looked into her eyes and kissed her face
her lips
never could he have imagine a love so great
as he began to connect the dots that relate to fate
to the future
the connections made were immediate and flush
like Picasso painting a masterpiece with his brush
he summarized it over and over in his brain
the reasons why he went through all the pain
was because one day he'd meet her

and it's then that he'd see his future

written for someone long gone now
potentially not finished, but here it is

 

society

the world is crazy, people are ads in a magazine. 

we've lost humanity in a catch phrase, 

it explodes and spreads clinging to heartbeats and dreams,  

converting them to nightmares. 

the fires burn wild across the tempers of innocence. 

It's rage permeates likes sweat through a shirt.
the words I seek creep through the street, unseen by most 

their voices echos, as mine does, down the halls of stories untold

down the alleys ways of thought and memories

everyone is for sale if the price is right, a moment in time,
a memory, an explosion that slaughters hundreds.
Death is the reprieve, but there's no going back,
what's done is done. The final solution.
The finality of this mortal shell.These pleasantries,  these shoulder taps in passing,
the shit piles up under hooves, under words,
under emotions hidden by words, wrapped up in experience.
Gifted to those we "love". Everyone is for sale,  name the price,
selling ourselves out short, souls lost cry in vane.

deciding to post this after it has been 
hanging out in my drafts for a while
it still feels incomplete, very much so
but here it is anyway
maybe i'll come back to it and add more

 

the children

the children are crying, but the world is crazy so they feed the tears
the children grow older and the tears turn to anger
and they turn the anger into action, into pain
into self destruction
neglected of emotion and care they cry loudly,
glowing flat screens are their babysitters,  

their teachers, their distractions.
their cries subdued by entertainments and storytellers. 

mindless consumption is the main story told. 

no way to know better they believe every word. 

they grow into adulthood and are thrown to the colleges, 

of which only a few make it, 

the rest are turned out into the realities of life. 

that not everyone makes it, not everyone made the right choices

and that people do fail, crash, and burn.
that the only guarantee in life is that, eventually, we all die. 

and so they come in full force, anger defined, defiant to any and all. 

ready to destroy that which you hold dear, 

that which is true essence of beauty upon this earth. 

because their beauty was destroyed by lies and deceit.

the children are crying, but the world is lazy so they give

the responsibility to the teachers of the schools

and when their children fail, they blame the world

the children are crying, but the world is blind

as always, i'm not sure if it's finished or not

but here it is 

 

øjeRum · Don't Worry About The Darkness, Mother, It Conceals Nothing

a new beginning

with clarity my eyes now see
no longer clouded by memory
by the old dreams that haunted me
with potential, my heart sings
it's song is heard by all
seen in dreams throughout the universe
with certainty i stand firm
my thoughts are on you, my heart is with you
my commitment to you
i now stand here with you
hand in hand we face the span of time together

wrote this for someone long gone now

 

should it be rejection

should it be that i cry every time,
that i lie in defeat each time they walk away?
should it be that i suffocate in what could have been
in what might have happened if....
should it be that my purpose was set to be shrouded in misery,
in the rejection persistent throughout the duration of my life
should it be that i will always be inhaling the expirations of others?
should it be that i live through this life with nothing
or no one to call my own
i make my plea with the universe...PLEASE
should it be the life i seek will always be out of reach,
dangling a taunting tease with no end in sight
should it be that rejection will be with me forever,
that love will elude me and that tears and heartache are
the only thing to soothe me and soothe my mind
into patterns of habit and repetition
into tears and tears and more tears
into perpetual alone movie nights and an empty bed,
with no hugs or cares or smiles
will it be that rejection will be the mainstay that drives me to insanity
or perhaps to be used as a means to leave to escape
the chained and bonded way of things
i tire, i tire of the repetition the same results no matter the course
oh i've jumped off cliffs with hands free
into beds and lives that evade me
into dreams and fantasies that slip away from me
or are taken away from me, taken away
should it be, should it be,
should it be rejection

a little something that came to me tonight
after having a movie night solo
and with nothing but my mind to roam 

b_m from cabina on Vimeo.

the woman on Swiss Avenue

She turned the corner on a cross street, visibly upset. 

She was wearing jeans and boots with a tank top and a 

woman's style leather jacket. Her hair up was up and 

seemed groomed. She appeared clean and in good hygiene. 

Appearing to turn back and converse with no one as 

she was walking alone. She knocked on a garage door 

as she walked.  Three times she turned back and said 

something to no one before stopping in front of a 

dumpster, bending down for a while as though she 

were crying before rummaging through the dumpster 

and then talks at no one again before walking down 

Swiss Avenue towards the train station. She then 

begins to take her coat off and then throws it in the air. 

She turns around and walks back to the dumpster and 

grabs what appears to be a bigger coat and puts it on 

and walk back from the corner she came from. The coat 

appears to be dirty, old, and weathered. After a minute 

or so,  she comes back without a coat on any longer and 

then rummages through the clothes in the dumpster and 

puts on a large T-shirt with some design and words on 

it and proceeds to walk back around the corner she came 

from again. That T- shirt also appeared to be old and dirty. 

It's been thirty minutes now and there's no sign of her 

anymore, I wonder where she went and what her story is. 

Her original coat still lays in the street seemingly 

in a spotlight of the street light now shining brightly. 

saw this happen and, for some reason, 

my mind told me to write it out

8-27-2017 with: paper

did she destroy me? 

no, hardly, more like she wadded me up like paper. 

rather i wadded myself up in response to her absense

in response to the world around me

all i need is to be massaged with words, 

with hands and love and flatten me out gently 

so you can see me as i truly am. 

without the masks of wrinkles and mechanisms

that protect me from the very things i want most 

written on this day in 2014

once again, not sure if it's done or not

27-8-2017 19:06

well here i am, the thoughts and words are a jumble

the heart is sad and we are drifting

a log in a stream, a buoy at sea, a hot air balloon in the sky

the days grow shorter now as the sun tries to hide

sooner and sooner each day

tries to hide from all that it sees on this earth

all of the pain and aching hearts and brokenness

it's opposites day and we're all forced into this 

of course we all have the option of leaving

but then what about tomorrow?

i kind of enjoy this waiting to see what happens tomorrow

this idea that tomorrow might be the most brilliant of days

that the absolute most magical of days are yet to come

and that all my drifting and meandering and fighting

will not be in vain and all the tears wasted

and so i wait, i sit with my mind open and ready

my body poised to just go

and as always, my heart wide open

well, i feel sad and disheartened, that's all, staying positive

the girl cat lays on the couch in her usual spot for napping

and the boy cat lays in the bay window sleeping
i want to see skies like ive never seen before
i want to hear songs and laughter like ive never heard before
i want to love and be loved like never before
i want to soar in those skies of beauty forever
until then, well i am just waiting to see what happens tomorrow

i dream on