2-25-15

a beautiful day today, a warmth even though it's cold outside
with the ice and cold temperatures and winter's grasp clinging still
soon the arms of spring will come and embrace us and
everything with it's hug of warmth and growth and beauty
i'm feeling great today, positive mood welcomed with open arms
the ice is beautiful, the trees are beautiful, my current thoughts are too
well, the world is still crazy, the times, the things, and the hoopla
but it still has beauty, although usually not found in the confines
of society's grips, but free floating like a boat on ocean waters
madness induced madness, war inducing wars,
still lingers the eternal halls of heaven, free floating
the cats are around here some where, doing their usual cattery
with the eating, sleeping, pooping, and occasional puking
the girl cat sits at the foot of her scratching post, content
the boy cat is, surprisingly, watching out the bay window
usually, by now, he's found a spot on my bed to slumber away
the spontaneity of the mind of a cat, simplicity defined
ironically as i typed that last line the girl cat comes to
my chair and taps me on my right arm as she often does.
scared me and made me laugh at the same time,
which in turn scared her just a little
i have a new mix by a great musician Foxes in Fiction
keeping me company as i sit and write.
download it and have a listen:
http://foxesinfiction.ca/post/112088504231/foxes-in-fiction-live-wnyu-feb-24th-2015
anyway, i float on, i hover on, i dream on, dreaming of heaven

2-9-15

so, the birthday came and went, no difference really
spent the entire day alone, and then went out and spent
the evening into the night alone. then the weekend came
and wasn't much celebration outside of my mom's gathering
had the most beautiful of dreams last night as i slept.
the kind that you really really wished you could stay in.
the most beautiful of beauty, the most brilliant of brilliance,
the most amazing of amazement, yeah a solace it was.
temperatures here yesterday and today were beautiful
yet another hint of spring in the winters time
a definite welcome thing to have in my reality
well, im feeling ok, still smolders the warmth within
slightly tired physically but feeling ok
i still come to that spot in the field of green
that spot we used to sit and lay in time and time again
the tree that we planted still grows tall and green
sometimes i bring a chair and sit for a while watching
the birds and flowers and sparkles of light through the leaves
id like to lay down and nap in that spot
maybe one day wake up to heaven's smile
the warmth, oh the warmth, you know like the warmth
of the suns rays shining through the window on a cool chilly day
warming your arms and hands and face.
and you close your eyes and relish in the moment
well, the cats are around here....
the boy cat sits in the bay window and the girl cat
is playing with a plastic bag with elated excitement
pouncing and pawing and rolling around with it.
anyway, i wonder what tomorrow will bring.
dreaming the dream of dreams
and of heaven

2-3-15

tomorrow.......so tomorrow is my birthday
39 years thus far, here's to another 39
just hopefully they'll be easier than the first 39
birthdays, a child's fun day, an excuse day for an
adult to be a kid again....at least to act like one
the excuse for overindulgence and the likes.
i haven't actually celebrated my birthday in years,
at least the past 15 or so years.
my mom usually has a birthday lunch or dinner
for me, cooking up the meal of my choice
of course she does this for all of her kids as well as
for my dad.
for me it hasn't been something i celebrate much
not because i dont enjoy growing older and such,
but because of reasons that i will eventually
disclose here for those that read my ramblings of
emotion and feelings and sometimes just nonsense
well, it's a cool day, looking forward to the warmth
of spring time temperatures and the hydration of the air
perhaps the wasps in the neighbor's roof will return.
well, the girl cat is waiting for me to give her attention
sitting on the ground next to my chair.
the boy cat is probably asleep on my bed.
im not quite sure what tomorrow's activities will bring
but perhaps i'll do something outside of the norm for
a change....of course big change is something i think
im going to save for next year when the 40th mark is
achieved. perhaps a long trip on the road, traveling to
places i've never been, places i've never seen.
too bad i'd have to do it alone. i've always enjoyed
traveling more when it's with someone.
the sort of travels where there's no actual
destination, but rather just go and see where one
ends up. the beauty of possibilities and potential.
well, inside there's still a sadness, the heart still hurts,
but for now, i feel ok, a warm and decent mood
the clock on the wall ticks with a persistance so
strong that it's as if it's forcing me to get up and go
about my day. and so, off i go, on and on into the day
the weeks, the month, into the year, watching and waiting
i dream still, i push on, pushing uphill, both ways, barefeet,
and im happy to do it. i hold on, the reality of it all.