and so it has exploded from me once more
the fountain of tears that i started to think
had dried up and turned to dust
heartache and loneliness have paid a visit
poking and prodding my heart and mind
rivers of tears form in vain
no thirst of trees and grasses to quench
sometimes i feel like i am in vain
my love is in vain
my loyalty is in vain
my emotions are in vain
i wanna rest my head on your shoulder
and cry a torrent of pain and emotion out
i want to feel the beauty of acceptance
and the hugs of raw emotion
i wanna have trouble saying bye again
i want to have sweaty hands from holding yours
and then for my hand to smell like yours
for the rest of that day
oh please is there a reprieve?
something to soothe this torment
something to take this guttural torture from me
and lift me high into skies of brilliance
into the golden arms of eternal love and bliss
oh how i tire of this sadness
i tire of this mind of mine
it's ways of thought and thinking
i tire of thinking there's no place for me
no place for me to call home
my hands are out stretched
my arms open wide
a desperation chokes my voice
that calls into the air
that seems to cry out in vain
oh lord i just wanna feel normal again
written about an hour ago
after an overwhelming sadness struck me
thought about not posting it but
what the hell, here it is.
you can laugh at me over it
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