2/10/2022 9:30pm

 as usual and for best results
scroll down and click play if 
it is not already auto-playing
posting this a little earlier than the usual
midnights passing hour
thanks for your attention

ive seen beauty sometimes
at the tops of mountain peaks
and in the brilliant blue skies
occasionally when i've looked into
the eyes of women ive seen beauty defined
defined in the lines of skin creases and hellos
ive seen the beauty that makes those mountain peaks
and blue skies stand aside in awe
i now watch the world as an observer
and i reside in the light of eternity
ive been silent of late as the words escape me
even though i feel good lately
another birthday came and went and am now 46 years old
i was originally due on january 25th, 
but apparently i wasn't ready and even on the 4th of february
i wasn't ready and had to be induced
perhaps a prelude to the rest of my life, ha
but lately, i've begun to gain an understanding i feel
of the world, this life, the human experience
i just needed my eyes wiped clean so to speak
some years of isolation and deprivation most definitely 
wiped them clean
i wasn't much of a religious or a spiritual person
all my life, but the past 10 years or so i begun
to sense things in this world but lacked the perception
needed to see them proper
and as i was still a drunken type living in dreams and at the bottom
of bottles i was far from that perception
and so taking an extreme isolation and at the same time complete
sobriety and some years passing with a torturous existence
my eyes were even more so opened to those things that i sensed
this battle of good and evil that is literally everywhere we look
i  began praying again each morning and each night
with random times during the day
and ive felt a difference inside and outside
and as things seemingly were revealed to me during prayers
and during deep thought and thinking
ive felt as though the spiritual and religious aspect of human life
have some real substance, some real tangible aspect to them
i may elaborate deeper and further in the future on here
i look forward to where ever this path may take me
i open my arms and mind and soul to the potentials that await
i pray for the world that we all can really look at one another,
that we can get back to the days of mutual respect
and to overcome the evil that wants to see us all defeated
and as another midnight passes by i am thankful to be alive
to see the beauty of this planet we are all on together

Assembly Field · anthéne - the company i keep

11-7-2021 11:24pm

as usual, for best effect/results
scroll down
and click play if it's 
not already playing
thanks for reading

i've not much to say these days
as the season changes and
the days grow short
days where music tells a better tale
and so i will leave this song here
perhaps it can tell you too a tale
a tale that my words can not
that my thoughts and emotions can not tell
well, i feel decently of late
thoughts still swirl
and the girl cat still dreams
and the neighbors still destroy
the peace and gentle quiet of the neighborhood
which in turn bashes my sanity
a loud truck or loud stereo or both
my world has changed
and yes, perhaps, i've changed
perhaps because of it all
perhaps because of 3 years of isolation
sober isolation
it has been extraordinarily difficult
and yet the past few months has calmed
things seem easier to see and observe these days
i think everyone should stop and disconnect
sober up for a while and isolate for a while
maybe then we will pay attention to the birds
that sing and watch the trees that dance 
see the wind caressing the meadows of grass
or watch the dog or cat play in the suns rays
maybe then we can see one another actually
maybe then the world would explode with love all around
until then i sit back and watch
as people are ads in magazines
i watch as leaves swirl on the ground 
i watch as years pass like water trickling
down the rooves of homes after a storm
watch how we too are like that water
that trickles down roof tops
here for a short while, then gone 
don't forget to be kind to one another
and as another midnight passes
i hope for clarity for the world
as i sit watching time dance with the world
watching time dance with the world....

Jeannine Schulz · When The Monk Found A Feather

8-21-2021 11:23pm

for best effect/results
scroll down and click play
if it is not auto-playing
i originally wrote this 
at the time listed
but was unsure about  it
decided to post it anyway
thanks for your attention

i'm a whisper away from lightening strikes
and i'm a thousand miles from any voice
i fly like leaves in fall's breeze
but only when the tears stop
there's a feather flipping and floating 
in the earth's breath, carefree
and there's souls pleading for mercy 
pleading for humanity, for someone to care
i tip toe through thoughts that make
what's left of my heart melt and break
i rest on tear soaked pillows
and i dream of a life never lived

i dove from the plane of emotions
soaring through the air of broken dreams
to crash and burn in the real world

watching the world burn,
both literally and figuratively
weighs heavy on my shoulders
people discarded like empty bottles
this time in isolation now almost seems
as if my mind has been sharpened like a knife
my heart almost feels as if it is beginning to rise
this fire that burns inside grows
and my desire has begun to poke through
through those darkened clouds of melancholy
feels like there's just some things i must see to
to get things in order before whatever is to come
there's most definitely something in the air
across this entire planet
it seems to me, it has become quite
impossible not to acknowledge
if one is living with their eyes open,
and they are looking ahead 
i really hope that humanity can rise together
to overcome the evil that runs rampant all over
that we can all look at  each other with
love, compassion, and understanding

well, i don't know what will happen
i don't even know where i'll end up
i don't even have a plan, but 
i do have a will
and as the old saying goes
where there's a will, there's a way
and as another midnight passes
i hope to rest easy with the potentials
of what could be on my mind

i feel a positivity growing

Last Days · Fading Shore

7-18-2021 11:23pm

as always, for best result/effect
scroll down and click play first
if it is not already auto-playing
and then read
thanks for reading
just a little more of the contents
of my thoughts and feelings

my mind has been more active than usual
lately and i'm not sure why
something is in the air
i can feel it clearly 
seeing the state of societies across the world
so much has boiled up and is pouring over
evil running rampant, unrest all over the world
like never before...never before
we have gone so far off the path
and so far away from beauty
and i'm beginning to feel as though there is 
literally no going back now
people pushing evil as though it were good
hate soaring through the skies of innocence
i really feel bad for the world
the world is harsh enough as it is
why do people have to make it harder
why do they seem to want to make it harder, 
more evil, more death and destruction
they seem to enjoy such things
people living life as if life goes on forever
as if none of us dies, even though we all do
every single person or animal ever born
will die with 100% death rate
and with such a short amount of time given
why would we not want to do good,
spread kindness, TRUE kindness
not that fake doing kind acts for likes on "social medias"
not that false representation of kindness
i feel when the act of doing a kind act
is of a selfish intent, it counteracts and destroys
the entire point of doing kind acts
and when i close my eyes,
i can see a cat playing in a field with grasses tall
chasing grasshoppers and butterflies
and when i open my eyes
i can see the world aflame
with people broken and beaten...defeated
and children laying dead or dying
their minds were twisted with lies and deceit
guided to the path of sheer defeat
i can see love out there
struggling to stay afloat in that
big sea of flames ... the flames of hatred
the flames of lies and deceit
and so most days i wanna keep my eyes closed
but obviously that's impossible
sometimes i'll stop, in the rare occasions
that i do go somewhere, and really look at people
i will look at their hands and their faces
into their eyes and try to see their pains
to try to imagine the hardships they may have had
look at them as a human being that has cried
that has hurt, and has been hurt and possibly has hurt others
if only we all could stop and just look at each other
never mind any stupid differences
never mind any stupid groups that we so blindly put ourselves into
any labels to separate us from the truth
if only we could all just connect as human beings
because at the end of the day, that is literally ALL we are
just human beings
we came into this world in the exact same way
our hearts beat in the same way
we bleed the same and get sick the same
we cry the same, we hurt and laugh and love the same
we go through the same things in this life
learning, loving, hurting, losing,
sometimes needing help, other times helping others
and yes we all experience death
it's too bad the whole world cant stop and just look
at one another, share a tear, share a hug,
share the beauty of being a human being
oh how i wished the world was different
how i wished people were different
oh my brain and it's ways of thought
these kind of haunting thoughts
and the imagining of what the world would be like
if we all did stop and just really looked at each other
allow the natural connections of the human experience
i think the world would see alot more love growing
but ah hell, what would i know?
i just really feel a quickening building
some kind of otherworldly pressure
not to sound too crazy, but like there's a huge
reckoning coming to the earth, to us all
i feel it now more than ever
something building in the atmosphere of this universe
i cant put my finger on it, but it feels as real and tangible
as food or clothes or the beds we lay in
and as another midnight passes by
i can't help but think of what possible future
may come to be upon this earth
and my heart weeps for the world
for human beings, for all of us on this planet
and yes i also weep because of loneliness, isolation
because of a lack of love and of the care of others
and i fear, greatly, the day when i no longer weep

øjeRum · Stormslagne Sjæle

2-21-2021 11:40pm

originally started on the 21st
of february and never finished
just sat in my drafts till now
i kind of dislike it somewhat
and im not quite sure why
decided to just post it now anyway
as usual and for best results/effect
scroll down and click play
if it is not auto-playing

diluted minds, like medicine in water,
ripple echoing outwards
or like ice in a drink
slowly diluting the flavor
and like in laboratories 
rats sit in cages waiting
for the next experiment
the next test to see what results come
the gift of life on this planet
rarely understood by most
tossed aside for the self and selfish ways
tossed aside for the me right now
never mind that we don't last long
that life comes and goes abruptly
a sudden start and a sudden end
like turning the light on or off in a room
...like lights in a room
yet, we've reached an impasse
and we're also past the point of no return
living through devices and systems of control that 
twist the mind and choke love out
not remembering the fact that
whatever we focus our minds on intently
that is exactly what our minds and lives will emulate
input and output
eat bad food become in bad health
well, the strings are pulled and the people dance
and then they complain
and when the strings are cut and the people are free
they also complain
content in their malcontentment
and the cat sleeps in the suns rays
the child plays with nothing else in existence
in that moment that they play
the bird flies and sings it's song
the grasses and flowers that dance in springs
affirmation of potential
and the leaves that sprout from branches
of trees that dance with the winds lead
and we.....we poke and prod each other
we stab and destroy each other
we gaze and glare with hate filled flare
never realizing the truth
never seeing the hands that guide us
to that kind of defeat
well, the temperatures went from frozen to nearly
hot and then to cool,
and i? i sat in the same room with the same four
walls in the same fluctuation of thoughts and emotions
reminding me of eternity's call
as the day's light taps my eye lids to open like flowers 
in springs bloom
after another midnights passing
i feel melancholy most days
with the occasional lonely and sad day
and my dreams still occasionally poke and prod
me to tears as i wake
and the girl cat still lives and dreams in ways 
that would be a magic unto my aching mind
that would be a comfort to my broken and worn down heart
my eyes grow heavy 
hopefully i will dream heavily into worlds of beauty

Benoît Pioulard · Stone In Focus [Aphex Twin cover]

3-7-2021 11:45 pm

 as usual scroll down
and click play if it is not 
already auto-playing
then read
thanks for your attention

i can hear the rumbling of a train
running down the tracks not too far from here
my mind wonders if there's any 
train jumpers or hobos as they were once called
i wonder what they're thinking
the street here is busier than usual
for a Sunday night
with some rumbling of loud trucks n cars
all of which seem to have something to prove
to people that, are mostly, unaware of them
or the boom boom from their stereos 
that they, seemingly, want you to hear
i can feel time ticking in the air
each second that passes
like when wind blows on your skin
my view is out of a window encased in
one of four walls that i am encased in
but no crown jewels here
nothing sacred or precious
nothing more than chewed bubble gum
but i digress
sometimes a neighborhood cats visits me
in passing, sometimes aware of my presence
and other times unaware
but i wish it well with a whisper in the air
there's a few cats that come by like that
but only the one that comes regularly
i sit with my mind and thoughts like rocks
rocks and stone formations that
with time, are carved into ways and shapes
carved by winds or by waters 
my mind carved
carved by words and punishments
by abuses and reactions and responses
my lines are cut deep
and again i digress
i watch and wonder as days go by 
like the minute hand on a clock
my reclusiveness seems to be
getting even more reclusive
with each rising and setting of the sun
my words also elude me as
i elude this world and society
like a ship at sea in the thickest of fogs
and nothing but the sound of the distant foghorn
to soothe the loneliness that hovers in the fog
i've watched seasons come and go
clouds form and then float away
i've watched the storms and rains come and go
i rarely ever see another person,
i only hear their sounds
i do miss seeing another persons eyes
and the pulses of emotions that lie within them
i miss seeing the steps they've took
that have led them into eternity's light
i sometimes will touch my own arm
to try to remember how a persons touch feels
and to try to remember what it is like to touch someone elses arm
i've watched leaves break off and fall to the ground
and then watched those leaves slowly decay
or wake up to see that the wind has carried a leaf away
i sit here alone typing words in the same fashion
a thought or emotion or feeling dropped here
like leaves from a tree 
leaves that get swept away into eventual nothingness
loneliness, well, let me think, i don't think i or
any of us actually knows what that means
what are words with no meaning?
what are lives with no love?
what are men or women with, seemingly, no purpose?
what is an injured animal that has crawled off to hide?
well, i feel sad these days
i feel deprived....of what exactly i've no idea
but am sure it is a deprivation of everything
but mostly a deprivation of socialization and of love
and as per custom, the shades of repetition that i paint
with my words and thoughts, don't vary much
they try to describe the view of my analytic eyes
i sometimes stop to listen for the sound of wind blowing
to know the world is still moving perhaps
yes, i still talk aloud to the television and to my cat
and i complain to no one as if someone 
is here to hear me and care
i can hear the sound of an airplane flying in the sky
can't help but to wonder who is on it and where they're going
what lives they live and what pains they've felt
i wonder if they have grieved loss as i have
i wonder if they're going on vacation to some beautiful magical land
the kind of places where dreams live
far far away from four walls with a window
and a lonely, defeated man who sits
watching life pass through glimpses out a window
watching life pass like the tears from his eyes
that are a constant flow
these days, i often times think, i don't deserve to
have the beauty of friendship or of love
the support of a friend or of a love
that, perhaps, i deserve the loneliness
that i deserve each and every pain that i've ever felt
i live, now, scared of it all, but i dream of doing
kind things for others
going out of my way to show kindness to this world
or spreading love and kindness that this world
so desperately needs
the fear remains from the last time 
from the last time i opened my heart wide
for a friend, for love, for companionship
and was only handed back remnants of my heart's contents
and so i rock back n forth in a chair and watch life pass by
and i feel the loneliness that is only written about in a few books
or in a blog of a middle aged man encased in the cold grasp
of isolation...the kind that eternity forgot
the kind that eternity forgot
.....that is yet another kind of loneliness
but i digress
i can hear the bed calling my name
by the vibrations of my body
and the tiredness of my eyes and mind
as another midnight passes by 
another midnight passes me by
......oh 
           how lonely
                              i feel

lost in thought

for best results
scroll down and click play
if it is not autoplaying
and then read

lost in thought
like being in a darkened candle lit library
and as for him, he sits in an empty room
with walls like coffin lids
and time ticks not by the hands of a clock
but rather by sun beam awakenings of morning
and by the rising and falling of his chest with each breath
maybe more like frozen in time
while time passes still
staring into the emptiness
of the corners of the ceiling
random memories, thoughts from the past
bubbling like carbonation in cans of soda
those friendship days
those encapsulated in love days
those days were nice
traded for the isolation days
those remembering human contact days
those deafening silence days
no conversations, no warm body
oh he dreams sometimes
....he still wonders why she still visits him in his dreams
dreams that remind him of what once was
and that is no longer
dreams that make him question everything
the very minute he wakes up
and also dreams that bring the sadness of his heart to life
lost in thought
lost like once when he was in single digit age range
he got lost at the local mall
separated from his mother
oh how incredibly immense it seemed
and how tiny and small he felt
too few are the memories of his childhood
lost in thought

perception

a randomness of thoughts
as always scroll down and click play first,
then read

a drive down dark and desolate roads
nothing but a haze of the days pain
he was searching for death, you see
driving around for hours
getting lost on purpose
the rare street light giving it's yellow light
it went from daylight to night as he drove
sometimes it's nice to get away and think
he used to think that anyway
now it's just best to stay hidden away
what a strange thing perception is
how easily it can change
to see in one light,
and yet see it again in another.
funny thing to see it also change a
person's emotional state towards things.
every thought a picture
every view a stage
perception
what does a year's worth of isolation do?
how does it change perception?
and which view is/was the "right" view?
a year's worth of isolation
well, actually a year and one month
emotions? i may have forgotten them
rarely ever a laugh or a tear
mostly a state of nothing
but in that nothing, there's no pain
no chance for the hunters to have their way
no chance for the tiny slither of what
is left of my heart to get shattered again
a full year and one month and it went by
in a blur of repetition
a repetition that makes you forget days
and weeks, even months go by unnoticed
till the summer heat arrived
and gave a simple reminder of the days
oblivious to perception at times
oblivious to himself
and it's sometimes obvious to him
of the negatives of things
a full year wasted, one more year older
the extremity of no real human interaction
until a few days ago when two contacted him
that perception or view was welcomed
there's that word again, perception
eyes see and minds think
thoughts sink and emotions rise
perception