8-25-15 a random thoughts in my head journal entry

12:29am
lonely, quiet night
the creative juices in my mind have been clogged lately
"you are your own worst critic" or so they say
i say it's about what sounds good to me and what dont
who knows?....
trying times, oh so trying
chewing my cuticles till they bleed
and sometimes even still after that
well, the cats are sleeping and the wasps are unseen since it's
the middle of the night and dark outside
i feel sad and alone, doing my best
the loudest quiet person in a room
or rather no one to listen to me, to hear me
i miss a good hug, a real hug, those i care about you hugs
those i love you completely and totally hugs
the ones that linger are the hugs of loneliness
well, august is coming near it's end
the grip of summer is slightly easing up
the embrace of fall will be most welcomed
the overcast skies and cool temps...beauty
fall and spring are nice times of year
the gentle breezes that touch you like a massage
tickling your neck and hair
a beach far away in lands of golden beauty
the never ending vacation of elation
the dreamlands of eternal brilliance shining throughout
the totality of realities seen by few
a comfortable life in fields of natural delight
instead, floating away forever on rivers of tears and dreams
no shores for my bones to bleach away on
just a short memory that fades away
like the sunset in winters seasons
the abandoned kitten in the parking lot
the dog dropped off in the park
the tired old man sitting on the old park bench
watching time pass even though he's got little time left
it's always easier with love
everything is easier, everything
the tears flow like flood waters from rivers and creeks
clouding and blurring my vision so that these words
blend and meld into grey scale color spots
the trusty wash cloth helps with that
absorbing those emotion filled drops of sadness
wiping the snot from my nose
only the embrace of music to soothe me
"there, there."

an unedited random thoughts journal entry
i may sound crazy or i may not.

the grumpy old people

well, they're out there aren't they?
from generation to generation
a timeless breed
"Get off my lawn!"
"Goddamned youngsters don't know what they've got!"
we hear them often, in the coffee shops,
sitting in front of houses on old chairs
in the lonely corner shop diners
in the early morning waking hours of Denny's
and Waffle Houses, and International House of Pancakes
you see them grumbling to themselves, complaining to no one.
they usually sit alone, disconnected from the rest
the newspapers are their shield
their coffees sit with the same steam that comes from their
grumpy words, moods, ways of being
the empty creamer and sweetener packets are their testament
talking aloud to no one and everyone
sometimes we brush them off as just a crazy old person
other times we just say they're just a grumpy old person
but how do they become grumpy old people?
well, you see, not everyone gets the happy ending
not everyone gets the spouse and kids and house of joy
not everyone has the splendors that we're all taught
from a young age
the beautiful house over looking the lake with the
white picket fences and 2 car garage
the pinnacles of modern day dreams
there are always those that get left behind
those that get the short end of the sticks
those in the mental institutions
those that end their lives with ropes or gunshot blasts or
pills of poison or falling from buildings built for life
those that waste away with the slow poisons
those that are forced to forever deal with emptiness and loneliness
those that spend their entire lives running from everything and nothing
they're out there we see them often
and sometimes some of us become them.....
maybe a friend or a neighbor
and sometimes even you and me
those grumpy old people