as usual, for full effect,
scroll down and click play, then read
i knew beauty once
impressions on walls of sweat
i dove deep into those waters and lost myself
"I've gotta go" she used to say
the world has always chewed me up and spit me back out
the women do too, especially the women
i knew happiness once
in the make-belief days of day dreams
i died regularly then
the hooks in my heart, in my back, my spine
oh the heart ache from those times
the make-belief days....yeah
Willy Wonka knew it well
but i....i followed my heart
i followed love........love...yeah
i followed it even though i could see it's future
always trapped between 4 small walls
no way to shout out loud
inevitability found it's way,
that which i saw from the start
i saw life once
possibilities and futures unfolded
but that's not the way things work
one too many times have i given myself away
opened up my worn and damaged heart
just to have it damaged even more
given it away and having it returned with a piece missing
until finally there was nothing left
oh fate itself must have cried a few times from such a case
such a state of things, who am i anymore?
and so i've withdrawn from everything and everyone
even a hermit would be envious
the days are a blur and i dont even drink anymore
not since the end of last year / beginning of this year
watching the world go by from a bedroom window
there is a slight solace in isolation
but the loneliness is striking
it always forces me to think
to remember things memories, mistakes....heart ache
i cant say i regret much, maybe one or two things
i was told once that i shouldn't hide myself away
because i would be hiding a treasure from the world
but i doubt a treasure would get it's heart beaten out of it
if i was a treasure, would i not have been kept forever?
yeah, i long for the day that beauty visits me again
that the warm embrace of a woman graces my world
oh lord, how i miss the scent of a woman
the grace of the air around them, their movements
their eyes looking into mine
desires, passion, emotions wild.
i miss the feeling of their skin
the feeling of sweaty hands from holding hands for so long
but alas, im a hermit, a middle aged, fat, hermit
not much to my name and not much strength left in me
not much heart left to give again,
not even really sure there actually is any left
with the mainstay of melancholy staying with me the past few years
and so i hide away, i hide from the world,
from the arrows and bullets aimed at my target heart
from the hunters that are hungry for more
i hide from potential
i hide from today
i hide from tomorrow
i hide from my dreams
i hide from life
..........i hide from myself
