9-23-14 with a nice night

the air outside, the ambiance of the night
it's cool and feels nice, a hint of chills
the night's dark comes sooner and sooner
the tiny slither of a crescent moon
the feeling of fall coming soon
the loneliness of a passing season into the new season
the most beautiful time of year when fall comes
young lovers, staring into the nights possibilities and potential
time stands still and they dance together in the space between
fear stands there watching with hateful jealousy
but together, the young couple are oblivious to this
because together, fear can only stand outside and watch

monday night/tuesday early morning
12:18am
lonely night
watched the sun set and people going about their evenings
the nights are getting cooler now and the darkness comes faster
each evening.
my favorite time of year is the fall
there's a new sound outside of a dog barking that i've never heard before
so apparently someone nearby got a new dog
i cant see the wasps right now, but the cats
well, the cats are up to their usual behavior
sleeping and eating and the occasional hairball
i feel ok
haven't had much to say or write about lately
bit of the old "writer's block" i guess.
but at least there was a little something that came to mind
it's funny how that works or happens to me
for a while, a plethora, a whirlpool of thoughts and things to
say and write about like bathtub filled with water and
the stopper is removed or is slightly pulled up
writer's block for me is when the stopper is put back into
place before the bathtub is completely empty
a little water remains while the faucet is turned back on
anyway, soon the leaves will fall, the air will cool
the skies will change and i.....
well i will continue to dream, continue to push on
i push on.....i dream on

9-13-14 with temperatures cool

temperatures cool, cooler than normal
overcast skies and deep inner sighs
rains falling while the soul tries to rest
gentle rhythms of precipitation starting and then stopping
the chill of the lonely bed
warmth missing and the solitary body lies wanting comfort
sheets and comforters give some solace, but the missing
heart, the missing body, the missing embrace and the warmth
from it linger loudly on a bed and room of silence
temperatures cool, cooler than normal
and the man lays alone

and now there is an early taste of fall
was a nice change with the chill this morning
waking to a cold bed slightly shivering
no warm body to snuggle up to
to embrace, to hug, to feel
the illness although mostly gone slightly lingers in the
form of coughing and congestion
i feel ok though
well now, let's see, the wasps are nowhere to be seen
because of the rain they've gone dormant
the girl cats sits up on top of the television set
she's in the observation state of being
of course cats always are in this state
the boy cat is eating from the sounds of it
i can hear the crunch of the cat food
disturbed sleep lately, not much in the sleep dream area
my guess is due to the illness that now wanes from my body
the beauty of the body's immune system
i miss the warmth, i miss the comfort and safe feeling.
i miss you.
the mind wages war on the tomorrow
focusing on the now and remembering the dreams and
memories of the past. the dreams of heaven.
i wage on, i war on, i dream still

9-10-14

i sit here with my head in the vice grips of illness
sinuses have lost all semblance of in working order
my head hurts and my throat is perpetually needing to be cleared
i'd like to go to sleep and sleep through the entirety of it all
but alas, my biological clock wont allow me to do so
it forces me to feel and ruminate and then feel some more
the cats are somewhere around here and the wasps?
well, i haven't actually looked out at them today
funny how illness can change even the simplest of things
also had an insane crick in my neck lately
yesterday, it was nearly unbearable, today it's much much better
but still stiff and achey in spots
i dream of sunflower gardens and lilacs growing all over
i imagine a pond or small lake, birds chirping, breezes blowing
i dream of you being there with me.
the warmth of each other and the warmth of the sun shining
but, i sit here ill instead
i dream on