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and click play on the song
and then read.
well now, let me see
i've been here before, seen all these things before
watching as each page is turned in succession
as history is repeated over and again
both in society and in our individual lives
it's the one thing humans are best at.
repeating the same mistakes, the same failures,
over and again like a cassette tape loop
playing over and over again.
none of society seems to want that to change
as they all divide themselves up, a separation
they use more labels and divisive mechanisms
to create tension and in turn resentment...anger
oh the red team, blue team, left side, right side,
religious preferences, sexuality, skin colours, ethnicities,
and if that is not enough, then they create even more
way to divide themselves up and fuel hate
ways to look at one another with judgmental eyes
dissecting each other until they can find a reason
to dislike, to hate
beauty is still out there though, the truth is too
but these days most want to destroy beauty
and they don't like the truth
they want to destroy the truth
it's incredibly difficult to watch it all going on
thinking the way i do and with the perception that i have
it's incredibly isolating as well
i don't really think i was supposed to be here on this planet
with the mind that i have it is crippling to have awareness
awareness coupled with understanding
well, i've reached a point where emotions are rare
loneliness is not a factor these days,
most of the time i feel absolute nothing
neither happy nor sad.
my environment has become caustic
the neighbor next to me got a dog that is ridiculously loud
my sleep is constantly disturbed
there's far more noise and disrespectful neighbors around now
trash allowed to fly all over, loose dogs running around
it is as if i went to sleep one night and i somehow was teleported
to a foreign country, i barely recognize the town i grew up in
i still live in the exact neighborhood i grew up in.
so these days i don't even feel comfortable in my own home
i no longer get solace, except of course in isolation
and at the same time feeling alienated as i always have it is
an even greater amount of alienation
i do feel tired most days, a weakened countenance about me
i'm certainly tired, oh so incredibly tired
it does cause a feeling of loneliness to begin to creep up
i've no one to talk to as i don't have friends
i'm 50, getting old, feeling old, tired, and worn down
all my dreams and asperations each all went in the opposite directions
there was a time that i used to say i'm just waiting
to see what happens tomorrow
but these days i just exist, no purpose, no achievements
sure i have two kitties that depend on me, but even that i often
feel as if i'm not doing good enough for them.
of course i probably sound like a broken record these days
a repetition of the same words scrambled and composed differently
but saying the same tired, worn out old things
one day i will be gone, i'll die just as we all do eventually.
i can't help but wonder if these words, after i'm gone, will
ever be heard and understood actually.
perhaps it is then that someone would actually understand me
and, of course, obviously then it will be too late.
and as another midnight passes me by
i cant help but to think about the world, my mind, the kitties,
loneliness, and those meadow of green grasses tall
and the wind rippling across that grass
i cant help but to think of beauty defined
nature, the beauty of a woman,
and the comfort of having a companion.
and the loneliness that comes from thinking about it all.
