Wednesday, February 10, 2021

2-9-2021 11:32pm

 for best results/effect
scroll down and click play
if it is not auto-playing

i felt weak yesterday
and had pressure in my chest visit me
my head felt pressure as well
alot of forgetfulness lately as well
like some kind of cloud and darkened corners
i got up and took a few steps
and seemingly felt an intense feeling 
of why in the world did i stand up?
took a while to finally remember
i wanted something to drink
and this day the words escape me
a summarization of thoughts
and words or emotions into lines
that bleed like an open wound
blood that seeps out the way
powder trickles down in an hour glass
or the wisps of dust that stir from someone 
quickly walking by
an age of ways and words that curl like hair
circling back upon them selves
alone in rooms of crowded silence
and the creeping of the hands of a clock
explaining to us all inevitability
well, another birthday came and went
another year that raced by in a blur
i feel lonely but ok for now
my head rings and feels pressured
my mind is clouded and foggy
a chilly night this night
although it's quiet and calm
two or three nights of interrupted sleep
and somewhere a person is laying
on a beach in the sun enjoying
the sun's embrace and warming rays
oh why must my brain be as it is
it's funny though i took the 
Myers-Briggs personality test 
out of boredom the other night
and i went from an ENTJ to an INFJ
of which is apparently the rare type
is that what a few years of isolation does?
or perhaps a life's worth of abuse, 
rejection, and failures?
oh well, nothing lasts forever as the saying goes
the cold bed calls and i'm tired
another midnight has arrived 
and now quickly goes by
into the spaces of eternity
one day i say
one day i'll rise like the tide 
one day, but not this day