Monday, August 28, 2017

the woman on Swiss Avenue

She turned the corner on a cross street, visibly upset. 
She was wearing jeans and boots with a tank top and a 
woman's style leather jacket. Her hair up was up and 
seemed groomed. She appeared clean and in good hygiene. 
Appearing to turn back and converse with no one as 
she was walking alone. She knocked on a garage door 
as she walked.  Three times she turned back and said 
something to no one before stopping in front of a 
dumpster, bending down for a while as though she 
were crying before rummaging through the dumpster 
and then talks at no one again before walking down 
Swiss Avenue towards the train station. She then 
begins to take her coat off and then throws it in the air. 
She turns around and walks back to the dumpster and 
grabs what appears to be a bigger coat and puts it on 
and walk back from the corner she came from. The coat 
appears to be dirty, old, and weathered. After a minute 
or so,  she comes back without a coat on any longer and 
then rummages through the clothes in the dumpster and 
puts on a large T-shirt with some design and words on 
it and proceeds to walk back around the corner she came 
from again. That T- shirt also appeared to be old and dirty. 
It's been thirty minutes now and there's no sign of her 
anymore, I wonder where she went and what her story is. 
Her original coat still lays in the street seemingly 
in a spotlight of the street light now shining brightly. 

saw this happen and, for some reason, 
my mind told me to write it out

Sunday, August 27, 2017

8-27-2017 with: paper

did she destroy me? 
no, hardly, more like she wadded me up like paper. 
rather i wadded myself up in response to her absense
in response to the world around me
all i need is to be massaged with words, 
with hands and love and flatten me out gently 
so you can see me as i truly am. 
without the masks of wrinkles and mechanisms
that protect me from the very things i want most 

written on this day in 2014
once again, not sure if it's done or not

27-8-2017 19:06
well here i am, the thoughts and words are a jumble
the heart is sad and we are drifting
a log in a stream, a buoy at sea, a hot air balloon in the sky
the days grow shorter now as the sun tries to hide
sooner and sooner each day
tries to hide from all that it sees on this earth
all of the pain and aching hearts and brokenness
it's opposites day and we're all forced into this 
of course we all have the option of leaving
but then what about tomorrow?
i kind of enjoy this waiting to see what happens tomorrow
this idea that tomorrow might be the most brilliant of days
that the absolute most magical of days are yet to come
and that all my drifting and meandering and fighting
will not be in vain and all the tears wasted
and so i wait, i sit with my mind open and ready
my body poised to just go
and as always, my heart wide open
well, i feel sad and disheartened, that's all, staying positive
the girl cat lays on the couch in her usual spot for napping
and the boy cat lays in the bay window sleeping
i want to see skies like ive never seen before
i want to hear songs and laughter like ive never heard before
i want to love and be loved like never before
i want to soar in those skies of beauty forever
until then, well i am just waiting to see what happens tomorrow
i dream on