they all say it

they all said i love you
and then gave me the opposite
one by one, each taking a piece of me with them
never once did i get to hear those words and
the words and the woman sticking true to them
all that remains is a hollow log of a man
waiting to be used for firewood
firewood that gets burned up by the next
one to come along and say those words
all i ever wanted is to be truly loved and
the woman to actually mean it
all i ever wanted is to be held
and that hold lasting forever
all i ever wanted is my face touched
and that touch lasting forever
i need that fresh air in my lungs
but instead i get the dust from when they're gone
there is one commonality here and that's me
i'm flawed and make mistakes
i'm sometimes dumb and do ignorant things
oh lord, is it that i'm cursed?
is it that i should perpetually feel the flames
of eternal sadness lapping at my face instead
of that gentle and beautiful touch
is it that i've been chosen to represent the
rejects, the down trodden, the suicide cases?
is it that i'm meant to wander down the empty halls
and streets forever?
are my hopes and dreams a form of torture
and the only times i get a reprieve
is when i'm unconscious?
ive hoped and dreamed of someone coming along
and saying to me i love you and then sticking by me
through it all till the end of my days
as i do with the ones i say i love you to
i love you, those all powerful words
will i ever get to hear them and see them play out forever?
or will i end up spending the last of my days in the
sorrowful arms of loneliness and broken heartedness
as the grim reaper comes knocking at my door?

written two weeks ago
the first time i've ever written something 
and felt it was truly complete when i 
stopped writing and looked at it