don't you remember?

don't you remember? us talking in this very spot
a ballet of words and flirtations
a ballet that set the stage for war
a war that i waved the white flag of surrender 
you fucked me up and you know it
but i don't blame you
but i am angry at you, for doing what all the others did
for making me believe lies that were never true
angry at myself, for falling for those words
but when i dive into love, i dive head first
with my hands free, so i'm also to blame
you have to understand that some books,
when you come to the last page and close them,
they are not meant to be reopened or reread
that it's absolute best to close them and leave them
so you never look at them again
keeping the knowledge of them in you
so you can remember the lessons learned
the pains lived and healed from
and yes to cherish the good memories from them
don't you remember? you said you loved me
that you loved me unconditionally
that you loved me
i know i said i wouldn't ever let you go
and i'm sorry, but i had to
i had to because it was killing me
it was killing me holding onto you
holding onto your memory
holding onto your words
words that as time passed i began to see into
and see through to the light of reality
and so i let go of you...i grieved for you
like i've never grieved for anyone or anything
and now i just wanted you to know
i hope that you fly higher than dreams
that the world moves for you
that your world is brighter and more beautiful than
anything ever before
i abstain