my art

my only art is my love

12-2-15

better days out of reach
those positive ways elude me
the flu hit me monday, full on
like getting hit by a car just without the physical damage
today, the first day i feel a bit better
body ache is gone, fever is gone as well
was a bit rough feeling that bad and having the heart ache
and loneliness...double trouble
i feel......well, i feel melancholy, but there's an ember.....
there's an ember inside me that is still smoldering
still waiting to ignite the fire again...
my problem is that it's just hard to stay positive these days
some days the anger stirs, other days the tears, other days just
the default monotony of the daily grind
and well sometimes it's a combination of all of the above
my promises and commitments stand true
my words stand true...through it all
well, thanksgiving came and went and now christmas
is creeping up not so slowly
the time passes faster and faster
and often times it seems like a few days is
equal to an eternity
let's see what tomorrow brings
the unknown, such a beauty
some fear the unknown
but there's a beauty hidden in it
i try and i cry, i am still here
my emotions and feelings and love
i soar through skies of all realities
i glide through streams of all emotions
i permeate into the pores of dreams
i do these things i do for you

11-14-15

i still struggle most days, most every day
only now i hide it behind my silent eyes
well, my eyes that are silent to most
but they scream loudly for one
my eyes.....
most things come as no surprise
except of course, when it comes to the world
more specifically the people of the world
the craziest of crazy
well, i've always needed something to drive me
not that i dont think decently of myself
but ive always needed a reason to fight
a reason to keep my persistence going
rather that be love or a passion of life or whatever
only now, im stranded on this barren beach
just waiting, perhaps im just waiting for my bones to bleach
of all the things in my life thus far, there's only one part
i truly miss, over any and all else
it's a cold and lonely night here
i sit here shivering, typing this nonsense out here
screaming and yelling louder than ever through my tears
my mouth is silent, but those tears, those tears scream
i wonder if you can hear them?
they call for you, they call your name
the cats are none the wiser
they're both in the back room somewhere
they sleep in ways i wished i could
i feel ok, the sadness persists
im just waiting to see...
life is strange, and stranger still each year that passes
dreaming, dreaming, dreaming...

5 minute "art"

some of my 5 minute "art" created today

posting a draft: evaporating

a vapor rises now, a steam, evaporating
each thought i have, evaporating
each moment i think, evaporating
each time i feel, evaporating
each time i dream, evaporating
memories and dreams, evaporating
hopes and wishes, evaporating
hugs and kisses, evaporating
love and happiness, evaporating
life evaporating

this has sat in my drafts since around the end of 2013.
here it is unedited

untitled 3 liner

i jump through hoops and swim just like you
into an oceanless blue
into the soils of the graves we fear

maybe ill add more to this, and maybe i wont
but i figured i'd share it anyway either way 

one thing to note

my ramblings here usually have a song
posted at the end of it
to get the full effect of my ramblings
hit play on the song, then start reading it
most of the songs dont have lyrics
so it shouldn't clash