8-21-14 with the arid air

the arid air weighs heavy on the shoulders of normalcy
normalcy that we all know well.
the arid air, although invisible and weightless
weighs so heavy that we slouch in our chairs and couches
we get massages and to go chiropractors for relief.
the arid air, hard to breathe in, hard to sense
persistently there, everyday, and more so on those
days when we're wanting change or a vacation
more so on those days when we think back on memories and dreams
the arid air, the oh so arid and stale air
it chokes, it holds, it pushes us down and holds us there
invisible, yet powerful, more powerful than flooding waters
the arid air, the arid and stale air

hot day
i feel ok, no sign of the cats today, probably see them later this evening
no sign of the wasps flying to and from the neighbor's roof either
hmmm, strange....really need a vacation from things
wouldn't it be nice to have a vacation from life
life as we know it, jump into a different life for a while
or jump into someone else's life for a change
that would be interesting.
but, the only vacations one can take are to another place
for a visit for a while. sight see, then it's back to
the stale arid air of normalcy
well, i guess i may never really know what the life of normalcy
is like, considering all things in my life now.
i had these dreams and ideas and desires
but watched them all slowly float out of my reach
is there really such a thing as a life of normalcy?
normalcy differs from person to person the way i see it
although there is a "staple" life or life of normalcy in society
with the getting married, having kids, and a house, and all.
a staple normalcy of having your own family i guess.
this dream, even though, there's still a chance for it, has
already begun to pass me by, although i try to keep my weakened
grip on it tightened so i don't lose it completely.
most dreams and ideals and desires, i've let go of long long ago.
some of which i was forced to let go of, others i let go of so that i'd
keep my sanity, and others well......time doesn't stop for anyone
there's no pause button or no slack for those that fall down.
im still riding in this car blind, blind through a cave during the
middle of the night, no sight, no sense of direction, crashing.
i still dream, i still hope, i still wish, i push on through to the spaces
and corners of my mind....of dreams and heaven
i push on still