a blank 8-15-14

my mind is blank and empty
the empty cup at least shows signs of
once being filled,
the empty plate, the blank blackboard
all show signs of being filled
i guess my mind does too with the memories
and dreams and pains and aches
the could haves and should haves and would haves.
i ache, my mind aches in it's blank emptiness
the girl cat is sleeping in her usual spot on the back of the couch
i wonder how her sleeping dreams are going, if she's even dreaming
the boy cat is in the bay window sleeping as well
and again i wonder how his sleep dreams are going, if he's dreaming
the wasps still scurrying in and out of the crack in the neighbor's roof
what cyclical routine lives they live, well, i suppose we're no different
than they, scurrying along going to work, taking kids to school,
cooking food, scurrying slowly to what and where?
of course i dont have kids so i wouldn't know anything about that
the hustle and bustle of the everyday, of the routine
the routine, with all it's struggles, all it's pressures
pushing you, pushing you and pushing you
to where and to what? and for what?
the cyclical routine of my writing
the cyclical routine monotony of my writing
who am i? where did the little ritalin boy go?
the boy that was unaware of pretty much everything, really
the little boy that was sometimes scared of the dark
the little boy with the unlimited imagination
the little boy that dreamed and wished and wanted
the little boy that tried his best......
oh well, thinking back on this is sad for me
i sit staring at a turkey and swiss sandwich
my stomach feels the hunger and yet i refrain from eating
and i type these words here.
anyway, the persistance of hunger and the lack of meaningful words
pushes me to eat now
i.......i........i dont know.