11-29-14

1:34am
so thanksgiving has come and gone once again,
the food, the family, the fun of old memories
photographs of old times of youth explored again
family time is nice, but saddens me a bit
all i ever do during this time of year is try to stay in my dreams
stay in my heaven
i should have a family of my own by now
at least a partner, a significant other, a lover
i long, oh i long for the feeling of arms wrapped around me
real hugs and embraces, real passion and kisses
oh how i miss getting lost in each others eyes
oh how i miss these things, these simple but oh so important things
people take advantage of the simplest of things
especially of relationships, the expressing feelings
saying the simplest of words, words like i love you
words like i miss you, words like you're so incredibly beautiful
heaviness weighs on shoulders of what was once a boy
boulders placed early on for him to battle till his life is gone
forgotten are the shores of his beach
only memories remain to eventually get sun bleached
i refrain from stopping the pain of life
the pains of stress and heart ache and strife
i feel, i feel, i feel
so, the cats are somewhere around here, probably in a
gentle state of deep sleep, which is also something i miss
since insomnia tends to pay me regular visits lately
i feel sad alot these days, not because of winter's arrival
but mostly because of life.
cried a bit here n there today, the icy feeling of tears
left to dry on my cheeks and eyes
maybe one day things will not just go the way i'd like them to,
but remain that way forever
one day, one day
a few months away from my birthday, but sadly it's
not something i look forward to, not because of getting older,
but for other reasons. i actually enjoy being older, growing older.
i have Scarfolk Council keeping my ears and mind going
and my mind ruminates, the cogitation endlessly
and alas, i dream on, i push on, and mostly of all, i hold on