10-15-15

what do you do when everything you ever hoped for,
dreamed for, aspired for is taken away from you?
all of your dreams, aspirations, realities.
well, after that, you have nothing left to do except wait
you just wait, wait to see what happens tomorrow
wait to see the sunset in a different view,
in another explosion of color
wait to see if you can dream again
there's a quote from the movie Her that i sometimes
ask myself if there is some validity to it in reality or not:
"Sometimes I think I have felt everything I'm ever gonna feel.
And from here on out, I'm not gonna feel anything new.
Just lesser versions of what I've already felt."
of course sometimes you cant help but to give up
even if only for a short while
sometimes giving up allows you to regain the strength
to continue the incessant fight of life
and of course sometimes we give up, waiting for a renewal
waiting for a reason to begin fighting again
and it is a fight....a grind that don't stop
till we die, the ultimate and inevitable stop
it is a bloodless and bloody war
an insane war that no one wins
and well, for me, i've given up for now
waiting to see what each tomorrow brings me
it's potential, the possibilities of unknown realities
waiting for my strength to renew so i can stand up
again and fight...and to wage this war
yes, i've given up before in the past
sadly, each time, it takes longer and longer to renew my strength
the older i get, as the years pass and my body grows old
the effects of life taking it's toll
well, at least my empathy is still strong as is my humbleness
so there's, at the least, that going strong
i cry at funerals, even if i've never met the person before
i see the familys' faces, their tears of guttural pain
and their pain suddenly rushes into me like the
waters from a broken damn rushing fast
i cry when watching most love story movies
i see a person fall or get injured and i cringe
but will still rush to make sure they're ok
i sometimes dream of helping people
and not because it's a selfish desire of doing good
but rather a way to spread kindness in the world
this world filled with violence and hatred and oppressions
i dream of protecting the world, save even the unsaveable
well, the cats are changing their ways in accordance
with the changing seasons, the changing weather.
the girl cat lays in the hall
and the boy cats sleeps in a back room
and me? i feel melancholy with a hint of sadness
just awaiting, waiting for the sunrise and sunset of tomorrow
i dream still