should it be rejection

should it be that i cry every time,
that i lie in defeat each time they walk away?
should it be that i suffocate in what could have been
in what might have happened if....
should it be that my purpose was set to be shrouded in misery,
in the rejection persistent throughout the duration of my life
should it be that i will always be inhaling the expirations of others?
should it be that i live through this life with nothing
or no one to call my own
i make my plea with the universe...PLEASE
should it be the life i seek will always be out of reach,
dangling a taunting tease with no end in sight
should it be that rejection will be with me forever,
that love will elude me and that tears and heartache are
the only thing to soothe me and soothe my mind
into patterns of habit and repetition
into tears and tears and more tears
into perpetual alone movie nights and an empty bed,
with no hugs or cares or smiles
will it be that rejection will be the mainstay that drives me to insanity
or perhaps to be used as a means to leave to escape
the chained and bonded way of things
i tire, i tire of the repetition the same results no matter the course
oh i've jumped off cliffs with hands free
into beds and lives that evade me
into dreams and fantasies that slip away from me
or are taken away from me, taken away
should it be, should it be,
should it be rejection

a little something that came to me tonight
after having a movie night solo
and with nothing but my mind to roam 

b_m from cabina on Vimeo.