1-16-2018

12:12 AM  or  00:12

i just want to live out my days in....
well hell, the broken record repeats again
still goes the melancholy ways most of the time
except today, the emotions and thoughts overflowed
again and flooded my entire body until the tears
were forced to flow out, those rivers of pain
i'll be forty two in a few weeks
and i'm weaker than most, i'll admit that fully
even weaker than anyone else even knows
all i can imagine are ways to flee from reality
not because of that age, that's actually a comfort to me
but because of the hunters, the arrows and bullets flying at me
the vials of poison tossed into my face
because of the weights and chains and traps that
keep me from flying high in the sky
flying high in dreams of eternal bliss
oh god, i want more than anything to be
swooped up and caressed as i'm carried high high high
into the most beautiful of skies
i want the all the things that everyone else takes full advantage of
without even a thought about how lucky they are to have
oh how i've dreamt of all those brilliant and beautiful things
they really don't know what they have
some of them do though, and those are the ones that fly the highest
the ones that understand and see clear
my pleas fall on deaf ears or rather they fall on the pavement of highways
blown around by passing cars, by winds, ran over and crushed by tires and weight
or they're grabbed up and held for a while and then tossed back on the ground
well, at least the birds still sing their songs
and, unfortunately, the dogs bark theirs as well, keeping me up sometimes
the noisy neighbors have a dog now, to add to the
already noisiness that comes from over there
when will the winds turn in my favor?
when will the birds sing me a song?
when will the laughter of sheer bliss grace my ears?
when will the brilliance of eternal love grace me with forever?
anyhow, the girl cat sleeps in the back room somewhere
as does the boy cat, they dream in ways
and i....well, like always, im just waiting to see what happens tomorrow