9-17-2021 11:45pm

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i close my eyes to see the sky
something like a memory from Sunset (a city)
or perhaps how i try to imagine it to be
i used to look at the sky every night
especially after a night of drinking 
always felt as if i am on the edge
of touching on something important 
so sometimes i'd stare at the sky
for a long while getting lost in it
lost in thought
i think if i went and looked at the sky now
i'd imagine each twinkle or bright star
as a single thought, or one soul
perhaps i could reach up and touch one
or just make eye contact 
perhaps i'd imagine each twinkle as 
a memory of days past
like when i was a child in elementary school
was a snowed and iced day and the sloped
ground outside of one of the fifth grade classrooms
was frozen with ice and we were running
and sliding down it on our feet to see 
who could make it the furthest
i close my eyes to see the wind blowing
something like a feeling of calmness
soothing ripples in fields of grasses green
and trees waving for me to come
and envelop myself in such a comfort
a local tv station here used to have a
station id video that played that would
show a scene of high grasses flowing in the wind
and some kind of structure of which i can't 
remember, but i remember getting that deep feeling
i've spoken about here before
a creative block has hit lately
so i've not had much to say
no formulations of articulation to toss out here
even in spite of all the insanity going on in the world
i can only think of those fields of flowing grasses
those stars in the night sky
those memories that tap my mind
like a hand tapping my shoulder
i can't help but to feel that i miss those times dearly
those late night moments of solace
solace after drinking and sitting somewhere
just staring at the night sky
i can not say what the connection was
except for the fact that it was some of the few times
in my life that i've felt comforted or connected to something
other than when i've felt loved of course
i say something because ive no idea what the connection
was or is only that i felt i was connecting to something
and as another midnight passes i sit thinking
trying to figure it all out as the world goes crazy
i sit wondering if i will ever find those fields
of grass waving in the wind
that will embrace me with a hug 

Night Note · NLS - 2021 - 09 - 13