this is more of a
typical journal type entry
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i have arrived at a cliff
a crossroads so to speak
the future, for so long,
seemed far away
like a satellite in orbit
until now
i see a path that has opened
and i feel it in my bones
to up and follow it
i can not say with certainty
why or where this came up from
but i feel like im being prodded
in that particular direction
the one routine that ive depended on
the one coping mechanism that
has been a mainstay for me
for around 20 years
will become a thing of the past
as for my chains ill just deal as best i can
a new perspective has come into view
my eyes fixed on potential
on a structured and purposeful life
oh this life, this life
so incredibly short
such a small amount of time
and to let go of everything
and dive into isolation
to envelop myself into it
getting lost in the minds spaces
lost in time's blur
to feel loneliness like i never have before
and, seemingly, out of nowhere
to arrive at this cliff
it's almost as if a light switch
has been switched on by a force
unknown to me
almost a spiritual force
all i need to do is jump
jump with optimism
into it all
i had felt a slight build up
for the past few weeks and month or so
like a reckoning building
it's as if i had to go into extreme isolation
as if the only way to begin to see
was to jump headlong into loneliness
the bitterness of a thousand years
oh i was filled with it
anger and bitterness...
those only act as cancer does
they eat you alive
and in fact is contagious
an example of this is the road rage
people often times have these days
and it's so easy to see how it can
turn into hate and rage
and close-mindedness
luckily i don't think i got that far
before this prodding hit me
an actual force that i felt in my body
i am here to love
we all were created to love
love each other
love our friends and family
it takes time to get herded into
certain mindsets like anger and hate
that kind of pressure has to build up
and build up it does when we hold onto
those things in life that hurt us
or hold on to the things that angered us
yet at the same time,
love comes so easy and natural to us
not much effort, actually
no different than breathing air
sometimes it hits like a bolt of lightening
and so ive decided to love the world
even if i don't get the romantic love
even if i never do get that kind of love again
i can just give love to the world
to people, to family, to those in need
to share kindness every place i visit
even if i do end up wandering the earth
to begin to care about myself again
to be able to fly in skies of potential again
the very things that i feared for so long
yes, the world is strange,
people are strange
but there's is incredible beauty in that
so many things to do and see
people to meet and love
places to go and share kindness
to share love
i think the world could use more love
love one another
give love and kindness
share love
we all were made to love
we all were made to share kindness
and so i embark on love for the world
and yes, i dream of magic and beauty
and yes, i am waiting to see what tomorrow
has in store, what kindness and
love i can share to someone
a musing on definition
on a life with purpose
and perhaps i will be able to
share love and kindness with you
those that read this
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