another random journal entry

cool air settles over warmer temps
was an average day, light amount of traffic on the roads
we lost ourselves to materialism and triviality
things like the way it was supposed to be and the should haves and could haves
we've also lost ourselves to comparisons....look at the hendersons' new car
or worst of all the celebrity bullshit
we've given ourselves much too high expectations
we'll never reach our goals or be truly satisfied or even surprised
when our expectations are so high
nor will we ever when we allow our decisions to be made for us
our expectations create limitations....
prevention controls our creativity and overall happiness
as i write this, i notice my handwriting seems more decayed and flawed
in the skill level of it and in it's appearance
probably due to having gone so long without actually writing
we've gotten used to technology
for some reason writing by hand feels more personal, more intimate
it feels more real than just typing it.
now we can begin to understand the drawbacks of today's "modern" world

the young child

the child walks with mom holding her hand, unaware of what life
could have in store for her, unaware of heart ache and stress,
innocently skipping along as she walks holding her mom's hand
time passes and will also tell what will happen to that little girl.
lost souls wandering aimlessly, searching for who or what they are
lost by the confusion this life throws our way
when we're young, we know the way, but life deters us from that
as we age till we're endlessly searching, crying, and dying
it sets us up for defeat many times, some of which we need
in order to learn, others we don't need and it pushes us further
away from the way....the way of innocence and oblivion
more and more times passes and we get pushed further and further away
till we're like a lost wandering child who can't find it's mother
all the while thinking we have it all figured out, that we know exactly
all the answers and all the solutions when we're all blind.
what am i doing? who am i? where is this ride taking me?
it will leave you behind in the dust and when you finally
clear your eyes it's almost too late for you
for some it is too late and even others are dead before then.
the balloon in the corner is losing it's air, deflating slowly
and surely till it's flat and gone.
in the meantime, the wind gently tosses it around
back and forth, wobbling and meandering along, no where to go
dropping down to size after size, smaller and smaller

the view through a water beaded windshield

i look through this water beaded windshield,
colours beginning to blend together like spilt watercolors on paper
the people begin to disappear, cars blurred with movements in passing
we all look through this water beaded wind shield
it is our perception and the water is our tears, our stresses, our pains
our sadnesses and loneliness, our broken hearts and broken bones

some good music

this is just some music i think people should hear:

Bible Black - Waters Be Good To Me:

Aimee Mann - Wise Up [Bible Black Edit]


One Cloud of the Roofs - Noiseless


One Cloud of the Roofs - Lovers:


Eyedress - Teen Spirits:


Unknown Mortal Orchestra - So Good At Being In Trouble


Grimes - Genesis


Clark - Absence


that's good for now, there's more here:
http://twitter.com/anotherandomtom

who am i?

who am i?
what footprints have i left in the sands of life's beach?
where are they?
i search still, looking for those footprints i've left behind
as i've walked and walked and walked.
who am i?
where is my voice echoing now?
what ears has my voice reached and entered lightly or heavily?
i search still, looking for those ears i've reached, for those
hearts i've touched as i've cried and cried and cried.
who am i?
what photographs and memories have i left with someone else?
is there any at all?
i search still, looking and hoping to find one or two or any at all
searching for those photographs and memories as i've
ached and ached and ached
who am i?
       WHO am i?
                 WHO?


perhaps this is complete now?
i dont know, but i'll probably leave it as it is now

about tears and crying

i cry
i cry like a baby crying from its needs
i cry like a lost cub searching for it's mom
i cry like the howling of the winter wind blowing so cold
i cry tears like a river from the mountain peaks thawing in the spring
i cry
i cry so hard my entire body feels it
i cry so long time doesn't exist
i cry in ways i didn't know one even could
i cry 
i cry for her, for how she might feel, for how she might be doing right now,
for what she is going through.
i cry because i cant be there to hold her and wipe her tears away
i cry because i cant hug her tightly and hold her close to me
i cry because i cant hear her beautiful voice, her beautiful laugh
i cry because i cant see her beautiful face, look into her beautiful eyes
i cry, i cry, i cry

about patience

his road uncertain, he sits on the rock watching and waiting,
patience is difficult for him sometimes, but he waits nonetheless
his strength wanes sometimes, but he always finds more inside himself
he wonders where she is, what she is doing, how she is feeling, now more
than he's ever before wondered and worried.
he wishes and hopes for sight of her to come
he wishes and hopes for the sound of her voice, the sound of her laugh
he wishes and hopes for the warmth of her presence, her eyes
he sits on the rock watching and waiting, hoping and praying
keeping strong as best as he can
he sees a cave in the mountains in the distance, but still he waits
he waits there forever and a day

unfinished