9-30-15 with sitting in a restuarant

All these random conversations going on around me,  

I find myself as the grumpy old man. Sitting in Denny's, 

waiting for food to come, in the corner alienated and away from the rest. 

Although currently I'm not grumpy or mad, mostly melancholy with a 

hint of sadness. Conversations of politics in one area, the mention 

of "conspiracy nuts". In another area, parents teaching, disciplining, 

and praising their child all in the same sentence after she said the 

word "motherfucker". Yet another conversation of an older couple talking 

about their daughters boyfriend/significant other treating their daughter 

well, taking care of her. "He's a good kid." A couple nearby in love, her arms 

wrapped around him as they sit side by side. The loving kisses, the squeezes. 

He with a smile of strong contentment. She with the gaze of love, smitten. 

Another man with his parents, "How are you, Dad? and you, Mom?" 

he talking loudly of songs playing, movies watched, politics, and the likes. 

Me, sitting alone, silent as I randomly hear all these conversations. 

Waiters scurrying around with a slight sense of frantic panic. 

Perhaps nearing the end of their shifts. A baby elsewhere in the restaurant 

begins to cry, I wonder what he or she is thinking or feeling. The young couples 

embracing postures change as a salad arrives for her to eat.
Only the embrace of her hand around her fork. I sit waiting for my food,
nothing but these conversations going on around me. I wonder how
it would be to be in any of  their shoes, to be one of them instead of me.
I wonder how it feels to be them, I wonder what they're thinking.
i wonder what they've been through. 

The clinking of glasses and dishes in the air, phone ringing, and the 

occasional breaks of silence. the food arrives.
Well, i sit at home now and fall is here, but the temperatures don't 

reflect this just yet. Only at night when the sun has gone down and
the moon rises. I have those cooler temperatures to look forward to.
The malaise of better days. the super blood moon came and went,
the splendor and enchantment. the boy cat is off in the backrooms somewhere

and the girl cat sits on the end table near the couch, grooming herself

i was ill for a day or two with some kind of chest cold type thing.

the raspy voice and minor congestion remain
well, today is dad's bday at 69 years now
a strange feeling of the reality of his age, his health/heart problems,
and the mortality of us all. death is uncontrolled when it's your time,
no matter what happens, no matter what maneuvers or procedures
are performed, you die, a reality we all avoid, we all dance around
till it hits us like a bullet. and me? well i'll be 40 in some months to come.
my mind blazing like the stream of headlights caught in time lapse videography

right now, thoughts of heaven.

i try still, the best i can muster