about thoughts and thinking

i sit here on this patio couch, my mind wandering and remembering things thus far in life.
chance occurrence of lazy thoughts.
wrestling mental bears, the pressure tears holes and rifts into further thoughts
combining all things we've been taught, struggling to make sense of it all.
we are blind in this life, heading head long into strife and collisions in
darkened caves with no lights to shine through to show us how and where we're heading.
i am sure we live for love. the "holy grail" of life.
continueing to hold onto viewing the past as important even though it's meaningless in the now.
we also reach towards the future more than we should.
digging up the way to get to where we want to be, is there really a pure event free from
want or thought manipulation?
we look and find things to distract us, but they only seem to destroy us